Because ten just wasn’t enough.
Google Images is one of my favorite things online. Not only because it makes searching for images easy, or because you can practically find anything … but because sometimes the most random and ridiculous pictures come up in the results.
Interestingly, during my time writing here on GEN I’ve found some rather interesting comic panels, some of which I will now share with you. So here, in no significant order, are 11 Totally Random and Hilariously Disturbing Comic Book Panels (okay, actually twelve if you count the one before the jump). Enjoy! Although I’m warning you now, most of these are just plain wrong.
1. Weird Story
Why It’s Hilarious: It’s completely random, not to mention the woman in the panel couldn’t be more serious when she said that. Plus, I kind of feel bad for whomever she’s talking to. She didn’t just enjoy his story, she enjoyed his “weird story”—and she enjoyed it “immensely.” “Immensely”?! If she wasn’t staring so damned intently, one would think she was mocking him.
2. Batman Doesn’t Approve
Why It’s Disturbing: Just seeing Batman use the phrase “Papa spank” is disturbing enough, but the fact that the narrator isn’t commenting on what’s really going on in this scene should say something. Let’s just hope Batman’s being over-protective of her pimple-faced teenaged suitors who only want to get in her pants and that there’s no sexual innuendo here (or that Batman’s intention is the same as the teenage boys’).
3. One-Word Magician
Why It’s Hilarious: He just pushed a paraplegic down the stairs for no apparent reason (there probably is one, but still). Tell me you didn’t just crack up? It doesn’t even look like he actually pushed Charles, it looks more like he threw out his hands a la magician and commanded the stairs to trip Xavier. (By the way, what is up with his left eye? Or did he just lose his other one? Arrgghh, matey!)
4. A Penguin Never Forgets, Kids!
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Why It’s Hilarious: Screw elephants, penguins are better. This panel is just incredibly cheesy—you know, as in CSI or Law and Order one-liner cheesy. Or “let’s say something apparently funny and laugh as one big group and then go have some ice cream” cheesy. Thank God Batman didn’t say that out loud.
5. Turns Offs: People
Why It’s Both Hilarious and Disturbing: This panel is probably so unbelievably out-of-context … at least I hope so. God, I hope so. If not, picturing the Joker getting an army’s worth of boners just creeps me out. At any rate, it’s still hilarious (and their faces are priceless).
6. Worst Disguise Ever
Why It’s Hilarious: Lots of reasons, but mainly, why is Spider-Man even wearing that ridiculous hat? It looks like he bought it in a thrift store, and considering Peter Parker’s budget, it wouldn’t be surprising if he did. But what went through his head? “Oh, perfect! I can practically walk the streets with my superhero outfit on and no one will ever notice me!” I hate to break it to you, Spidey, but that hat doesn’t conceal the obvious reality that you’re wearing a bright red and very conspicuous costume. You look like the McDonald’s hamburglar. Hm, maybe he got it in a happy meal.
Exactly thirty seconds later? And what’s with the cab driver? You’d think by how nervous he is that whoever’s tailing them in the car is after him, not Spider-Man.
7. Poor Johnny
Why It’s Hilarious: Sigh, the Joker’s really cracked now, getting his kicks from a kid by stealing his report card. Quick, somebody call Batman. This is urgent.
Looks like little Johnny’s getting a beating tonight. And is it just me, or does the Joker remind you of Nelson from The Simpsons in this panel? “Ha! Ha! I made you cry!”
Is there even such a thing as a “sad” grin?
8. X-ray Vision to the Rescue!
Why It’s Hilarious: Ugh, people just don’t appreciate Superman anymore. He’s the last son of Krypton and a god among men, for crap’s sake, not your servant! His problem is he’s just too nice. Grow a pair, Supes, and exert your authori-tah.
And what does she think he’s going to do with his x-ray vision, examine it until it glues itself back together?
9. Might As Well Go Naked
Why It’s Just Disturbing: … If you can’t tell just by looking, shame on you. Not only is that outfit of Terry Long’s awful (the designer should be slapped), but that “skirt” is worse than Zap Brannigan’s from Futurama.
10. Touch of Doom
Why It’s Both Hilarious and Disturbing: It’s wrong on so many levels, but it’s hard not to find it ridiculously funny. The possibility that Batman and Robin are more than just friends isn’t new, but instead of being annoying (not everything has to imply homosexuality, you perverted comic writers), this is simply hilarious. For the sake of maintaining Batman’s good name and reputation, let’s hope this was taken extremely out-of-context, as well.
11. Super Stupid
Why It’s Hilarious: Wow, Superboy was pretty stupid. That’s one dramatic example of the dangers of naivety and arrogance. It’s kind of hard to believe anyone, let alone an alien superhero from a planet that’s way more advanced than earth, could fall for something that obvious. I mean, it has signs on it that scream what it actually is (that’s no jungle gym, kids, that’s a trap for Super-boy-is-he-dumb). How much lower can you get? Luthor must have been feeling pretty desperate to think that one up, but it kind of makes you wonder … If it weren’t for all his god-like super powers, Superman wouldn’t last very long in the world (thank you yellow sun). I bet back on Krypton he would have gotten beat up at recess on a regular basis. Thank god he was spared the psychological trauma when his home planet was destroyed. Oh, wait …
Thanks to Superdickery.com, Cracked.com, and of course, Google Images.
May 17th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
This was so funny
I still own the comic book where the panel from Number 10 came from
That was actually a good story!
May 17th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Haha, are you serious? Do you remember what book it was?
May 17th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
This is a great article. The best one has to be the “Robin — What have I done to you?” one. Although I love the Joker stealing that kid’s report card.
May 17th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Oh my stars Steph, that was hilarious. Thank you so much for sharing this. It made my day.
May 17th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I loved the Robin one, too. It’s just too suggestive not to love it.
And the Joker one made me laugh, it’s so pathetic (poor Joker, you’ve hit rock bottom there).
Glad you liked it, Ricky!
I had a lot of fun writing it.
May 17th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
fun stuff
May 20th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
HAHA…yeah, the robin one is the best because it has to be out of context. Although, the Boner one was pretty great…
May 20th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
#10 Touch of Doom is from an issue of the Justice League of America probably from the mid 1960s
I am going to open my toy chest where I have all my comic books and see which issue it was
I am pretty sure I own it
Let me check it out tonight
May 20th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
#10 Touch of Doom
Whoops I could not find that issue
It may have been part of a Justice League of America Reprint
which appeared in the early 1970s
but the original story is from an issue in the mid 1960s
probably from issues in the 20s range (JLA #20)
May 20th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hmm, I’ll have to check it out. Thanks!