Chloe Marshall, a Miss England contestant, is a teenage beauty queen who broke the stereotype that you have to be a size 2 to win a pageant crown.
Chloe, 16, from Guildford, England, weights 176 lbs and is 5ft 10in tall and has a 38DD bust. Chloe has said that most of the public has given her positive feedback for what she is doing but there are others who feel that she is promoting obesity. She said, “I’m a size 16, I eat well, I exercise regularly – I jog, swim, and work out with weights. What I am promoting is a healthy girl who looks after herself and doesn’t try to force her body to be something its not.” - Daily Mail .
I think Chloe is beautiful. Yeah, she has some extra weight on her, but I think she can work it like any of the skinny girls can. It’s not like she is overly obese; like she said, she is a healthy girl. I say why not, if she feels comfortable parading around in a bikini, more power to her.
(Originally posted at Hollywire.com)
————————————————————————–
So, why do I post this blog here? Well, from speaking with many of my fellow gamer/cosplay/comic ladies… this is something that all of us talk about and think about on a daily basis.
I give complete props to Chloe. Being a former beauty queen myself, I know what a harsh and demanding world it is. Perfection is a goal for which all pageant girls are taught to strive. I know that my time in pageants has most definitely shaped who I am today. I’m sure that our own Jinxie (who is the reigning Miss Asia Arizona) can share her feelings on this as well.
Let me throw in my own personal experience to start off the conversation. In high school, I use to weigh 180lbs and was 5′4″. I was a pageant contestant, actress and dancer. My family was very much about “you are beautiful the way you are” and “you don’t need to be tiny to get roles.” Well, they were right - in Maine.
It was when I left the easy life of a “Mainer” and entered the harsh reality of New York City that it hit me… right in the gut. It took one Broadway audition and a casting director saying “Well, you SOUND great but you are about 30lbs too fat for the part. Go home, lose the weight.. and try again!” for me to take a good hard look at how I was representing myself in my chosen profession.
I took out a DDR mat and began to work my ASS off… literally. In a matter of 3 months, I had dropped a whopping 30 lbs! Over the next year and a half I dropped another 20 lbs. By 2005 I had gone from a size 16 to a size 6.
Now, so many people claim that looks shouldn’t matter in the world. I agree looks shouldn’t matter. That being said, I am a prime example of someone who found that they do. The minute I started advertising the “new and improved” Becky I began getting noticed. Now, my talent and passion never changed. Perhaps it was my self esteem boost that made me more interesting to others. Ever since then, I have struggled every day of my life to keep off the weight. My body, naturally, wants to be a bit bulky. I have a crappy metabolism (Thanks mom!) and I have to work extremely hard to keep weight off and work to get even closer to my personal goal.
The gaming culture is a tough community to be in, as SO many people talk about how you look. Whether it’s fanboys posting the “hottest gamers of 2007,” girls judging other girls based on looks and the photos they choose to take, male gamers assuming that if you are attractive you aren’t REALLY a geek, or the worst of the worst - the guys who find your pictures and post “WOAH! She’s not THAT hot.. she’s kind of fat.” It’s a very difficult place for self esteem to thrive.
So, the questions remain - what is beautiful? In a male-dominated hobby, how do we define what this term is; and do you, as a girl, feel the need to fit into that mold? Do terms like “attention whore” and “girl gamer” really have an effect on you? Do you think these terms have an effect on gaming culture in general as well?
Here is your chance to sound off and talk about self esteem, image and how our culture views it today!
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Rant Warning!
I am a true believer in the phrase “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”; it is a completely subjective matter, and there is no “perfect” display of beauty. There will NEVER be 100% agreement on what is beautiful.
That being said, I have never really been in a position where my looks are judge, on purpose anyways. People judge people every day, in every interaction.. it’s just the way things are. I have been pointed at, and made fun of etc. etc. just like everyone else has at some point in time. The funny part is, if someone points out a flaw to you, you’re unlikely to go around with your sign on your chest saying “I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m dumb” etc. You try to cover it up, or laugh it away or use some sort of other defense mechanism to make yourself feel better.
Moving along to the weight thing.. I have sort of the opposite problem of most of the country.. I can’t gain weight. There isn’t anything wrong with me, I’ve had blood tests, and nutritionists, and physical trainers.. I’m just little. It’s just how I was made. My mom is little as well. Now, 99.9% of my girl friends, think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Well, it isn’t. I’m not necessarily “insecure” about my weight, but I’m not gonna lie, it’d be nice to put on a few pounds.
Since none of you have met me in real life.. I’m 5ft5in, somewhere around 105. I don’t have a scale, but it’s something like that. I wear a 0, I have barely A cup boobs. I can’t shop in petites because I’m too tall, I can’t shop in Misses because there’s nothing in there below a 4. This leaves me to Juniors and specialty shops. Juniors is OK, but I only like about 20% of the items there now-a-days.. I’m almost 26 and work at a law firm; graphic tees aren’t exactly acceptable. Shops like Bebe and BCBG carry 0, but I don’t have $400 to spend on a single outfit.
Every time I give this argument, I get eye-rolls and “whatevers”, but I’d like to be able to shop in all departments, not just a select few. I’d like to be able to fill out a shirt without having to wear Victoria’s Secret super padded gel bra (which are $58 by the way).
Enough of that.. now for “girl gamer”. I’m fine with this, it doesn’t have an effect on me per se. Actually, I’m more proud of it than anything. All of my co-workers and friends know it’s part of me. There isn’t a single person who has been to my house and hasn’t played Wii bowling or Guitar Hero (even if it was their only time ever).
As for having an effect on the gaming culture, I think it’s great that more gaming communities are popping up, so gamers can get to know each other outside of the screaming XBL. Boys will be boys, but eventually they will get used to our presence in the gaming world.
I’ll probably have more to say after some other responses pop up.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Well… I’ll bet she also didn’t answer her pageant question saying, “such as… the Iraq…” haha!
No but seriously, she has a very pretty face!
Plus, I’d much rather look like her (or Salma Hayek) than to have my collar bone stick out… i.e. Nicole Richie 2 years ago (ick)!!!
GO CHLOE!!!
Also, I agree with Mandy… “Girl Gamer” doesn’t effect me either. I really don’t care what people call me… as long as I never have to hear, “you belong chained to a sink like a good woman….. ” again!!! UUUUUGH!!!!
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 pm
The TRUTH about Weight and Health
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6xUef_FRxE
http://www.bigfatfacts.com/
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Great Blog, Becky. I remember when you and i first started talking and I first saw your before and after picture (and when I briefly met you at E3!)…I was amazed. That someone could have so much self-control to be able to better their body. I also never knew the story behind why you chose to drop the weight or what motivated you to do so, so I learned something new!
I’ll also sound off on my own opinions and personal experiences:
All women are build differently. Period. Chloe Marshall is a perfect example of what every womans attitude should be like: proud of who they are no matter how skinny or heavy she may be. She’s proud of who she is, she looks great, she’s happy, she’s healthy…and she doesn’t want to have to form into a mold. Based on the fact that she is breaking down walls by being a Miss England contestant, I think she’s doing a hell of a job.
People are quick to judge overweight people with the word “Unhealthy”. Now, this may be the case for a lot of people, but then there are those who, like I said earlier, are just built that way. There are also a lot of unhealthy skinny individuals as well…but since skinner is better in modern ideals, people are less quick to point fingers their way.
In high school, I was about 5′7 and the highest weight I managed to hit was 175 pounds. I had more sweatpants than a department store and men’s Dragon Ball T-shirts out the wazoo! I wasn’t really overweight considering my height, but I definitely had some baggage that was noticed. I was upset that I wore size 13 but I never wanted to do anything about it until I hit my college years when I realized “Hey, I haven’t had a date in like, 5 years. I really need to fix something here”. I started dieting the wrong way and lost the weight to the point where it started to worry my family because I was losing a little “too” much. The part that upsets me about it is that the way I did this was really by only eating once a day…and at that point, I was the unhealthiest I had ever been albeit I was rail thin.
It wasn’t worth it.
I managed to realize the fine line between being fit and being unreasonable with myself. Why bother trying to look better…when I couldn’t even manage to walk up a flight of steps without losing my breath?
Thankfully, my fiance has instilled great habits in me since we have been together. The gym has become home away from home. I’m now 130 and very healthy and very fit and a lot stronger than I had been even as little as 1 year ago.
Unfortunatley, a lot of girls who see in the media these images of Kate Moss and Paris Hilton being successful and being so ungodly skinny, they feel like the only way to become what they want quickly is by extreme measures. Having had an eating disorder myself, I also realized that not a lot of girls can get out of the hole they dug themselves so easily and it’s upsetting. These models who are dying because their organs fail due to anorexia is unacceptable. The modeling industry taking steps to assure the girls do things the healthy way is a great start, but I have yet to see an impact on the runways and in the magazines.
As for the girl gaming image: Unless it’s based on ability and overall self-character, those “hottest of” lists are garbage. While some of these lists contain people who are friends of mine, I think it just goes to show how shallow guys can be when they make those lists. Most of the girls on those list end up laughing about it because they know how pathetic it really is. And then they turn around and tell us to stop it with the “Equality” and the idea of “don’t judge us by our looks” bullshit? When they are the ones who posted us up on the pedestal in the first place? My days with arguing Female Gamer Rights are over because I realized debating with some of these people can be like debating with a brick wall. There are so many beautiful girls in the gaming community these days that it’s become somewhat of a taboo subject. It quickly gets knocked down. I see more and more girls just doin’ their “thang” and just being themselves which is more than awesome for me to see. Although there are still a few who give us bad names! LOL
And for Mandy’s post: I can’t STAND going into Victoria Secret to buy their bras because of how expensive they are. It’s outrageous what we women have to do to try and look our best. Unfortunatley on my end, my…top…is on the larger size and sometimes I wish I was smaller because no matter what, I always have to wear a stupid bra…even when I wear things that are already padded, those don’t manage to work for me. Trust me, if I could share the wealth, I totally would! LOL
Whoo that was long!
-Moe
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Okay, that bigfatfacts.com is a little… Michael Moore -ish if you know what I mean.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I was a child actor and have done numerous commercials and films. I was doing pretty well considering It was from the time I was 10-20. The last straw for me in the acting side of the business was when I went to see my current agency and they told me I needed to lose weight. I was 175lbs. If I lost anymore weight I would have become anorexic.
I admire anyone who can pursue their dreams like you have Aktrez. It really isn’t easy and a lot of people ignore the hard work that it takes to truly bring things to fruition.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:42 pm
You would have to be 6 ft. 10in. to be “underweight” at 175.
April 2nd, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I have my own story to share. I was the ugly fat gamer tomboy in Jr High/High School, there is more to that story, but I’ll leave it at that. My father didn’t like me very much, he hurt me in allot of ways I don’t want to talk about. One thing is for sure, he called me allot of hateful things. “Ugly, Bitch, and Stupid” (among others) were some of the usual words tossed in my face. For a long time I felt that I was actually those things. I am short, was VERY shy and I didn’t take care of myself…
When I left home it took me a long time to find out that I was beautiful. There was nothing wrong with me. I lost some of the weight from not taking care of myself, cleaned up my face (terrible acne) and got to what I am “supposed to look like”. I was tired of being so shy and I wanted to cosplay… I wanted to model. I was so afraid of what people would think. I put myself in the spotlight and very soon very much enjoyed being me! It forced me to open up and come out of my shy shell. I’m still the same old geek girl, but now I am a geek girl who feels much better about herself. I get allot of crap about it and found out that you can’t please everyone. Hell, I still get allot of crap at work from men :cough.. pigs: at work who want to talk about me because I am a girl and nothing else. Why is it so hard to believe that I AM A GAMER GEEK!?
I think that Miss New England is beautiful just the way she is! It’s wonderful that girls can just be themselves in this world. Allot of the models I photograph aren’t small or tall, they are bigger and short girls. (you can see it on my DA account http://www.vampirekitten182.deviantart.com/gallery/#Photography ) I’m trying to break this trend…. this mold of what beauty is. This is why I do allot of horror, dark, fantasy, and cosplay based things instead of the usual glamour & usual commercial type things.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 am
Chloe is beautiful. Give the girl a chance.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:01 am
Well said VampireKitten, just for the record I had it rough in school as well for being fat.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:21 am
I’m not a girl, but as long as (a) men are visually stimulated while women are intellectually stimulated, and (b) society values thinness while simultaneously encouraging people to gain weight[1], this isn’t an issue that’s going to be going away. I think style is all about making critical first impressions anyway. After that, we either like or not like others careless of their style…
[1] If you haven’t done so already, I’d recommend watching the documentary “Super Size Me”… A few things have changed since it was released, but not enough to invalidate its importance.
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:55 am
Some impressions. First, kudos to you for taking the willpower to lose that weight and actually doing it. That really shows your devotion for your career.
Second, that the board that judged your audition look like morons to me for saying that. I bet none of them would fit their own beauty standards.
And third, that I’m sick of those stupid guys in the gaming culture. They are certainly not the whole male gaming community, but are the only who express their (kiddish) thoughts, so they sound like being the only ones. I don’t mind the genre and definitely I don’t mind the looks of gamers. Why the hell should that matter? This is not about advertising something in a magazine or a fashion show. It’s about liking games and enjoying playing. Why a good looking gamer girl has to be an attention whore or use a fake picture? I’ve fortunately dealt with a lot of people in the online world, through either games or communities. As after a good while I’ve known a certain community member that I appreciated for too long was a girl, or a transexual, or gay or anything, I’ve learned to avoid those irrelevant facts, and appreciate the person itself. People who really matter those facts are the real attention whores, lacking esteem, and definitely not fitting their own beauty standards (or do they really think they don’t have a bit of acne, or a little over/underweight? ;))
So don’t pay attention to those comments. No one can be happy without being themselves, and life is too precious to not enjoying it just trying to fit in some retarded standards
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:02 am
The ultra skinny look doesn’t do it for me. I think a lot of problems with anorexia and other eating disorders have to do with the fact that mass media puts out unrealistic images to the public, and that’s what the public wants. You can’t fairly blame either side for that.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:55 am
^^ And that statement right there is what really gets me aggravated. Not all super skinny girls are anorexic. It takes A LOT of effort and discipline to be anorexic, not just being skinny.
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I think a lot of you are missing Aktrez’s point. What she’s saying is - Is a girl like a Chloe, who’s overweight and unhealthy, a good example for girls? I don’t agree that she’s unhealthy. I don’t think you can tell someones unhealthy just by looking at them. Now if you’re so fat that you can’t leave your bed or apartment and they have to cut a hole in the wall to get you out. Then that’s a different story.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
You’re right- not all super skinny girls are anorexic. However, the media promotes such as the norm, when it’s not the norm for most people. You really can’t fit body shapes into one size fits all- the human body doesn’t work like that.
BTW I would not say that Chloe looks unhealthy.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Actually, Orion, that wasn’t exactly what I was saying.
I was saying that I think it’s great that Miss England is looking past the “stereotypical” beauty queen image. Then I asked if that image is here in our gaming culture and if can be changed.
That being said.. I DO feel she is a good role model BECAUSE she states that she does excersize and eat well. This can only mean she use to be even heavier. You can’t excersize and eat well and still be that size. It’s metobolically impossible unless you have a thyroid disorder or something.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Well, I use to eat a lot (indeed, take two diners every day), barely do exercise, and still can’t cross the 60kg barrier. It’s just her metabolism. Either that, or she is lying
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Good grief, no one wants to see that.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Ah, Hollywire has a typo. She’s from England.. not New England. All this time I thought she was from Connecticut. Not that it has any relation to this discussion.
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Wow, that’s you, Aktrez? You go!
I’ve been aspiring to do the same thing you did—exercising, trying to eat better, etc. I’m trying to get down to the slim weight I used to be, which means about 25 lbs, give or take. It’s hard with school because the food is so unhealthy, and it’s so easy to lose motivation when there really is only junk food around (not home-cooked food!) and not much of a variety when you’re a poor college student. But you’ve definitely given me new inspiration!
April 5th, 2008 at 12:09 am
Hey, all I can tell you is what I know from my own experience, which is going from martial arts-fit 6 pack abs / being able to dance from 8 pm till 4 am without a break to being a good 80 lbs overweight (mostly in potbelly form) gained due to working 7 days a week around the clock (back when I was working).
The heavier you get, the worse life gets for you- everything is harder to do, energy is something foreign to you, and regardless of what anyone tells you, people don’t want to date an overweight person.
That’s the highest reason (out of several) that I simply stopped trying to date when I gained weight- like some people are not attracted to certain hair colours or some wouldn’t date another race, I personally can’t find myself attracted to an overweight woman. My biggest turn on is that ab region. So, when I gained weight working, I knew it was a double standard and just stopped trying.
My problem right now is I can’t afford a gym, walking isn’t enough for me, so I need to work out seriously. I own a Bowflex, but I have a freaky quirk going on- I’m unable to work out with my mom around (and I am crashing at her place in my current “homelessness” state). I don’t know why, but I can’t get past it. And since she lost her job in August, she’s always around, so I never get any exercise. Plus, she’s got a sweet tooth, and constantly has bad junk food to snack on. I won’t go out and get it myself, but if it’s here, I have no willpower.
Having been in super-fit shape a mere 8 years ago and being in big-belly-mode now, I can tell you life entirely sucks in the latter state. I go to Starbucks each day, sip on my coffee and see the cute women come in, and not one of ‘em is interested in my sense of humor- they never get to that point because they’ve already dismissed me due to my weight.
There’s never an instance where being overweight is healthy- even if your blood pressure and cholesterol are managing, it’s going to be damaging your mental and social
health.
If you’re not heavy- don’t go there! If you are- do everything you can to get fit! We’re definitely not meant to look like the girl in the contest above- girl or guy, just the same that we all aren’t meant to look like Jessica Alba or Brad Pitt. Just be reasonable in aiming for your fitness level- fit for yourself, not an imaginary fitness idea.
April 5th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Ooooh sorry about the late reply, as I AM stuck in Hawaii.
Anyway, I think Chloe is beautiful as well. What I love about the Miss Asia Arizona pageant is that there are no height and weight requirements - all girls that are eligible are welcome to enter and every girl is given a fair chance on the stage. Being Asian women, we already face the struggles of being a minority AND a women in a white male dominated country, so why restrict us even more?
As for Chloe, I applaud her empowerment for young women. Not every girl has to be a specific size to be beautiful - she has confidence in herself and that alone makes her even more beautiful. Kudos to her for believing in herself and going on to win. She’s a great role model for young women everywhere, not just in her country.
May 8th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
I’m looking at those pictures, and I see three pictures of very beautiful women. Which one am I supposed to not think that about, again?
June 29th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
As a ‘girl gamer’ in Australia, it has its perks. It has its downs. Having been a gamer and active combat LARPer in europe for 5 years prior to coming back, I saw a great difference of opinion for how gamers of both genders saw themselves and others.
In the Netherlands, I was a shy mouse due to my chubbyness and general disquiet over my appearance. I tried to combat this my using my assets, of which double D bra sizes could be an advantage in the medieval fantasy world of live action roleplay, to the max. It still didn’t quite get me to the point of accepting myself. That was until I was drunk, with another drunk fellow with his arms wrapped round me to keep me warm round an open fire in the wee hours of the morning at a LARP event when most of the other players had wandered off to their tents and we were finishing off the last dredges of whiskey that he heard my open complaint about my appearance. I was then in a figure hugging dress with low cleavage, ashamed I had to pull my waist in with a corset to remotely feel comfortable in the garment. He pulled back, turned me around and said, while looking straight in my eyes with remarkable clarity.
“You know what is wonderful about bigger girls? It gives us something to hold.”
We have been good friends ever since that night 3 years ago and I have never forgotten it. Now, 25 and feeling it, I am back in Australia finishing my studies and have gained new friends, gamers, in a completely different culture.
I am still chubby. I really do not see an end in sight for this as my body also really wants to hold onto the weight. I was built with a framework that could bear 15 children and work in the fields long hours while churning butter and climbing hills to get to waterwells, all at the same time. It was never meant to be skinny. Though some weight off would be wonderful.
Nowadays I consider the hopefulness of weightloss to be more for a health reason than a looks one. Looks still matter to me though and I still wear corsets to pull me in. Now I try to focus on bringing the cleavage out more and, being a bit gothic, this gets me the right kind of attention and not the kind I used to dread.
Being a gamer too, around young men who are far more introverted than I was used to over in Europe, where a gamer was expected to be social or be buried under the sheer weight of pressure acting would put on you…it has made life interesting. Here in Aust the gamers are generally far more geeky, as the stereotype goes, than in the Netherlands. They are also more conscious of themselves, not all, just most. Where Holland does have its snide models and flashy fab fashions, the general populace accepts that everyone is unique and being curvy or a bit weighty is no real problem. In Aust, weight is a huge deal. It is hard to find clothing that fits long legs AND hips as the stereotype seems to suggest that chubbyness must mean you are very short. It is also hard to find flattering tops that do not look like bags simply because being chubby means you must not show any curves as all.
This affects the Gamer mentality too.
I am one of 4 or 5 females in the Gamers Guild of Perth with over 50 other males present. We have little events, we have individual game sessions. We are all generally friendly with eachother. But when I first joined up when I first got back here nearly a year ago, it took a lot of them by surprise.
One, I was female.
Two, at the time, I was single
Three, I gave hugs.
Four, I loved showing my assets.
These things were a new thing for many and it took a lot of them quite a while to get used to my hugs. It was something I was simply unable not to do. Also being single did have its problems and I hid behind my sexual preferences, that were very strong at the time thanks to too many bad experiances with males, to ward off any possible advance. This paranoia wore off eventually and I am now happily content with a gaming fellow for 6 months and counting.
Having weight did not matter. They were happy to have a female in the Guild. End of story. It was, as time went on, more of an issue though for myself out in the community.
I consider myself a Gamer. Not a Girl Gamer. This lable I do have a problem with as it exists more here than in Europe and tends to have a line being drawn down between what was, and now what it has become now that we have ‘trod upon their turf’. No one in the Guild ever calls me this. It is the general community that does and for this I am mocked.
This mocking is something I am used to. The advantage of being chubby and growing up with it is you either cave in, or grow a second and third layer of skin. I got that skin in Holland and now can ignore any jibes about my figure. I just still wear corsets.
To get to the point here, being a chubby female gamer is one thing. Being a chubby female gamer with sex appeal is another.
It’s a foriegn concept in this country, one I have been determined to change. Being chubby should not hold back the desire to flaunt what you have to your advantage. For me it is my height and, frankly, boobs. I have nice and well attuned bosums that sit nicely when pushed up. I will not hide them and I don’t give a damn if people stare down at me. At my height I can stare down at them in return and smile as I bend over and their boyfriend have to look twice. I might not have pretty legs, I may not have the greatest of faces, my arms are flabby and my butt sticks out. But boy, give me an underbust corset and low top with a dash of black eyeliner, I feel like the sexiest woman alive.
And I bring this to the Guild. This took the males there some more getting used to as the concept of sexy female gamer is yet another foriegn thing. The Conventions here have glimpes of anime girls dressed in very little and some very cute gamers, but they hide their hobby behind layers of normalism and most are ashamed to tell their friends outside the Cons about it.
It is almost like the general public opinion is that if you are a Girl Gamer, you must be chubby, introverted and frumpy. Anything else and you are an anomoly to be avoided.
To finish this with a graceless flourish of personal opinion on the matter, I simply say this.
When I was sitting in my underbust-corset and short skirt with high socks and tights, in my usual chair at the usual time after a good game of Lazer Tag at the Grill resturant a whole bunch of us go to on a weekly basis, I was sipping my bourbon when a male friend came up behind me and said.
Quote “Hi M…WHOAH!!” unquote, as he stared down into the abyss. It made me smile. And that, dear reader, is what stereotyping humans will never truly understand about “Girl Gamers”.