The world of Resident Evil meets the comic universe with match-ups that really should never have been made.

But we’re making them anyway. It’s nearly as bad as letting Peter Parker talk to Mephisto. So grab your shotguns, dust off your costumes … and brace yourselves.

1. Umbrella Corporation, meet Umbrella Academy

We may never know what turned a harmless, much-used implement that deflects unwanted rainfall into a symbol of evil, but sometimes these things just happen. Founded by Ozwell E. Spencer, Resident Evil’s infamous Umbrella Corporation (otherwise known as Umbrella Chemical Inc.) spawned the rampant invasion that led to the government-agreed destruction of Raccoon City when they discovered the Progenitor virus—and later the T-virus—that birthed the zombie.

While the Dark Horse comic’s superhero team Umbrella Academy, established by Dr. Reginald Hargreeves, might not be on the evil side, the seven superheroes have certainly fought their fair share of darkness. And either way, umbrellas will never be the same again—just like swans and pearls will now always be associated with polar bears on time-jumping islands. But that’s another story.

2. Zombies prefer the slightly less derogatory term, The Walking Dead

Braainsss … ah, the zombie-approved delicacy. Typically the undead are slow and stupid, but make the deadly mistake of letting them trap you in close quarters or surround you in large numbers and you’ll be wishing you treated that lone zombie whose head you blew off with a shotgun a little more nicely. Always go for the head shot (remember, shotguns are your best friend) and beware the oldest trick that zombies never tire of using: the classic ankle-grab.

These situations and tendencies are all too familiar to the survivors of The Walking Dead, published by Image Comics. This highly popular comic is written by Robert Kirkman (art by Charlie Adlard) and boasts over fifty issues. The series remains a favorite for its ability to reach the heart of the very human issues zombie sci-fi stories are best known for, but if you’re looking for ridiculous zombie fun, Marvel Zombies is a good way to go, too.

And of course, there are even some Resident Evil comics out there …

3. S.T.A.R.S. is in no way affiliated with S.T.A.R. Labs

As Resident Evil 3’s baddie Nemesis would say, “S.T.A.R.S. …” As a branch of the Raccoon Police Department, the Special Tactics and Rescue Service (or Squad) division recruited many well-known characters from the original RE game, including Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, and Albert Wesker, to name a few. Originally supporting a total of thirteen members, S.T.A.R.S. consists of two teams (Alpha and Bravo) and now focuses on anti-Umbrella operations.

The Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories exists in the DCU also as a force for good. The multiple-location research facilities—first started by Garrison Slate—helps teams like the Teen Titans and upgrades Cyborg’s internal machinery. Superman’s Earth home of Metropolis houses the main lab.

4. Lurkers and Frogs know how to whip it good

Over-sized, grossly mutated amphibians can be the stuff of nightmares. Completely happy to swallow you whole with one giant lick to the center of human tootsie pops, Lurkers are strongest in their natural water environment but much easier to take on land.

The frogs of the Dark Horse comic series Hellboy and B.P.R.D.—loved by fans for its paranormal basis and monsters galore—however, can be much trickier and lethal. They serve as a formidable and central obstacle to the heroes in the first Hellboy movie, and they recently licked up a gruesome storm in 2008’s B.P.R.D.: War on Frogs.

5. Garrador is really Spanish for, “evil clone of Wolverine and Daredevil”

In reality, the dangerous and intimidating (in a “oh crap, oh crap, oh crap” way) Garrador enemy from Salazar’s Castle in Resident Evil 4 takes his name from the Spanish word for “clawer”—but in the Marvel Universe, he’s more of a crazy Frankenstein-like clone of Wolverine and Daredevil. Like defense attorney Matt Murdock, the Garrador is also blind. This might present as a weakness worth exploiting to Leon Kennedy, but Murdock’s blindness only allows for the superhuman power of his other senses.

And while Garrador’s three-clawed fists might make his rage that much scarier—excuse me, I’ll be quietly sobbing in that corner—he’s fueled by the clearly exposed Plaga attached to his spine. Good luck taking on the adamantium-fused, self-healing Wolverine, though.

6. Got rocket launcher? Doomsday, the Tyrant of the DCU

Tyrants are the Big Bad of the Resident Evil genetically-mutated bestiary, and although their creation is allegedly as uncommon as one in ten million, I’m sure we fans can agree—as we bang our heads against the wall—that those “rare” odds are total crap (or maybe that Umbrella just can’t do math). I’d challenge lightning to strike me down if I’m lying, but by their logic, I really would be fried.

DC’s uber baddie Doomsday—the only character to have succeeded in “murdering” Superman—also found life via a test tube. Engineered by the alien geneticist Bertron, Doomsday was conditioned to loathe all life and designed to annoyingly skip the death part. And every time a new Doomsday regenerates from the old, just like Tyrant, he’s bigger and badder than ever. A crap situation and all-around destruction for us, but major happy points for evil.

7. Wesker and Osborn: Evil does it in style

Albert Wesker enjoys the simple things in life: creating monstrous abominations, spreading pain and misery across the globe, and achieving domination over humanity. It’s all in a day’s work for this backstabbing Neo-wannabe. Now equip with freaky powers, Wesker basically functions as the powerhouse of evil that has kept Umbrella from being wholly destroyed.

Just as cunning as Wesker, Norman Osborn emerged as the brains behind the recent events of Marvel’s Secret Invasion. Infamously known as his alter ego, the Green Goblin, Osborn currently plays the role of a savvy business leader. Now he’s masquerading as Earth’s savior as he tips the scales in favor of super-villains; the next step in his master plan is the formation of the Dark Avengers.

8. Joker draws a king, Alfred turns it into a queen

The Ashford twins were both born more or less genetic experiments in intelligence. Alfred didn’t turn out with quite as extreme genius as Alexia; even more to Umbrella’s shame, Alfred developed, erm, personality issues. Idolizing his sister to the point of obsession, Alfred created a dual identity based on his creepy love of Alexia. When he’s not sharpening his military prowess, laughing like a little girl, or aiming a gun at your head, he’s pretending to be Alexia as he dances around in her make-up and old dresses. We’re not sure we want to know what the Resident Evil writers were thinking (or smoking) when they dreamed him up. And we probably don’t want to know how Alfred managed to gain that ridiculously huge ego of his, either.

Speaking of bazooka-sized egos, Batman’s arch-nemesis the Joker boasts one insane laugh of his own. The Joker might be known for his acid-squirting flowers and banana cream pies, but just like Alfred, his instability and psychotic nature makes him a dangerous opponent who shouldn’t be underestimated. When you push him off the cliff, well, then you can point and laugh. But until the Joker follows in Alfred’s footsteps, it’s bombs away with violence and death.

9. Regenerator and Deadpool, the Regeneratin’ Degenerate

All the thermal imaging in the world can’t soothe the trauma the Regenerators dish out in RE4. You hear these unnatural buggers’ strained breathing before you ever see their erratic-moving bodies twitch toward you in a haunting advance of doom. Each Regenerator conceals up to four Plagas that must be destroyed for it to die, and it’s a good idea to keep a safe distance from their extendable gummy limbs and needle-sharp mouths while you take them out. These guys and their Iron Maiden cousins provide some of the biggest spine-tingling chills in the game.

Marvel’s anti-hero Deadpool is much more lovable. Cocky but smart, the Merc with a Mouth may be a bit insane, but he keeps the entertainment coming. Once cancer-plagued, Wade Wilson was beyond cured when he was introduced to a healing factor—courtesy of Weapon X. Armed with an assortment of pointy weapons (or just ones you point) and a deep love of money, the violent mercenary will take just about any job that pays well. And much to Deadpool’s satisfaction, his body’s advanced rate of regeneration never fails to see him through hell and back.

10. I bet they name their guns: Cable and Krauser, kickin’ up the testosterone

Not much is known about Jack Krauser, who was first shown in Resident Evil 4 working—albeit suspiciously—with Ada Wong under Albert Wesker’s hire. Krauser used to be a government agent alongside Leon Kennedy, but maybe he found Leon to be too much of a Gap model or something, because he faked his death in a helicopter crash and turned to the dark side.

Both Krauser and Cable are capable weapons fighters with strong, milk-does-a-body-good builds and scarred faces. And these guys might as well be brothers, they’re both weird enough. Krauser gained a Plaga-infused arm-blade thing somewhere along the way, and Cable happens to be a psionic mutant from the future who is also the son of Scott Summers (aka Cyclops) and Madelyne Pryor, a clone of Jean Grey. Yeah, definitely weird. Okay, I take back the whole brother thing—no need to make things any wonkier than they already are.

And thanks to me you probably won’t ever see Resident Evil or comics quite the same way again. Well, that’s a crossover for you. Happy gaming!

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