On previous installments of Casting Couch, we took a look at some personal casting choices for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li and Gears of War: The Movie. On this edition, Chris Iaquinta and I will be highlighting Left 4 Dead, the feel good game of the year that royally screws a quartet of survivors (Francis, Zoey, Louis, and Bill) by forcing them to survive against the junior varsity track zombie horde from 28 Days Later; minus Cillian Murphy’s junk.

Survivors:

Bill - Sam Elliot

Louis - Mos Def

Francis - Chuck Liddell

Zoey - Rose Byrne

Infected:

Boomer - Nick Frost

Smoker - Steve Buscemi

Tank - Andy Serkis (CGI)

Witch - Mageina Tovah

Hunter - Phil “The Unabomber” Laak

Now that you’ve seen the list, who would you like to see for these roles?

As is the current trend with all red hot video game franchises, Resident Evil has spawned a number of Hollywood films bearing its name. And as is the trend with those films, all of the characters were poorly casted (not to mention poorly portrayed) by some soulless, greedy suit who has never even played the games.

Instead of utilizing the many multifaceted video game characters as the main protagonist in Paul W. S. Anderson’s abominations, they chose to invent one out of thin air. Don’t get me wrong, Milla Jovovich possesses decent acting chops and her looks were pretty much the only reason to keep watching after the elevator scene, but why break what doesn’t need to be fixed? That would be like giving Lara Croft a cybernetic arm and a talking chimp sidekick voiced by Robin Williams.

If Capcom were to ever follow in the Dark Knight’s ever-wise footprints by eradicating the previous Resident Evil movies and starting from scratch, these are the actors and actresses who would not only talk the talk, but walk the walk when it comes to cracking zombie skulls and solving obscure puzzles while a room fills with noxious gas. If you like what you see, be sure to check out GEN’s previous Casting Couches as well: Left 4 Dead, Street Fighter, and Gears of War.

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Abracadabra! Hubba-hubba! Zatanna is coming to Smallville!!

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