Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard is the latest contribution from third party developers Vicious Cycle. Unlike the name suggests, this game is not a sequel to, well, anything, and makes fun of almost everything in video game history. A decent effort is given to the third person shooter aspect of the game, but it is obvious that most of the work went into making this game really funny. While a lot of the dialogue is pretty funny, sadly, both the gameplay and the comedy fall short of the standards set by other comedy games in the past.
Matt Hazard, our witty hero.
Story
Eat Lead opens with a cutscene introducing us to Matt Hazard, a former god among action game stars. Matt got his start as a video game character all the way back in the days of 8-bit side-scrollers, and progressed to 3-D action games in a manner that is quite obviously similar to the evolution of Duke Nukem. Under a lifetime contract with fictional Marathon Games, Matt is one of the most in-demand action game stars around. But alas, the glory days must end. After lending his name to several really bad games, including a cart racer and a water gun shooter, Matt drops out of the game world. Convinced that his career is over, Matt settles into a life on the sofa in front of the TV until a new CEO, Wally Wellesley, buys Marathon Games. Wally wants Matt back to do another action game, to which of course, Matt agrees. Unfortunately, Matt’s great comeback is not what he expected. At the end of the first level, another character, Sting Sniperscope (who is a very obvious parody of Arnold Schwarzenneger), attempts to kill him. Turns out, Wally hates Matt and never intended him to be the main character in the game at all. So, Matt, guided by QA, a mysterious woman, must make his way through a hacked, glitched game world filled with characters from his old games as well as modern enemies.
Gameplay
The gameplay for Eat Lead is very, very simple. Similar to games like Gears of War and Dark Sector, it’s a third-person shooter with a cover system. Matt can take cover, vault over cover and blind fire, but unfortunately he can’t dodge-roll, so if you don’t want to get shot, just stay behind a pillar or something. The one thing that is introduced is the “move to cover” feature. If Matt is behind some cover, you can move the reticle to another piece of cover and select it, and Matt will automatically run to the cover and get down behind it. Basically, the entire game consists of you running through rooms, taking cover, shooting your enemies, going to another room, and doing it again. There’s not much variety to be found. Some of the smaller boss battles use quick-time events for hand-to-hand combat, but the pause for the button pushing window is so big, that you really have to try to fail them.
Cover is certainly not in short supply.
The AI on the enemies, and there are a great many of them, certainly leaves something to be desired. They don’t really do much except run on set patterns and get behind stuff. They’re not shy about leaning out from behind cover, and are generally happy to just stand there and let you line up a headshot. Seriously, I got the “100 Headshot” achievement before the second level was halfway done because the enemies just stand there. Also, the game will spawn enemies behind you, which gets very annoying. You may think you’re safe behind your pillar or whatever, and then a bunch of people run at you through the door you just came from. The health indication system is also somewhat frustrating. A red semi-circle will appear on the HUD indicating the direction of the shot, but that little semi-circle also indicates your damage level, and it doesn’t do a very good job. You have to really pay attention to it since it’s not very clear, and when you get close to death, the screen will turn black and white. At that point, one pistol shot will put you down. Matt can only carry two guns at a time, but I only ever really used the pistol. Other guns, like machine guns and shotguns were around, but the recoil is so annoying that it was so much simpler just to hide behind something and pop headshots on the dumb enemies. There are some funny gun upgrades to be found later in the game, and some power-ups for Matt are placed randomly as well. The main saving grace in this game is the comedy, and some of it really is pretty good. Matt himself is a play on a bunch of different action game stars, and a lot of his dialogue is fairly witty. So many aspects of gaming are made fun of that it’s hard to keep track of them all. Matt complains about long elevator load times and tutorials, and one of the bosses is designed to clearly make fun of JRPG characters, specifically Cloud Strife, and speaks only in text boxes that you have to click through.
Matt beating a water gun-wielding enemy from Soak'Em, one of his flop games.
Graphics
The graphics Eat Lead are nothing special, but they’re not terrible either. Each level is different, but almost the entire level areas look pretty much the same. There’s just not that much to look at after a little while. Matt himself is pretty interesting and some of the enemies are well done, but most of them are just guys in suits. Some of the 8-bit soldiers he fights are cool, but they are, afterall, 8-bit, and not that great looking. I also never really got used to the fact that, when you shoot someone they do not spout blood, but blue pixelly stuff. It was just kind of weird. The facial expressions on the characters during the cutscenes were pretty thoroughly done, but that’s about it. Unfortunately, the graphics are just rather unremarkable.
Audio
The voice acting in this game is one of the best parts. Matt is voiced by Will Arnett from Arrested Development while Neil Patrick Harris lends his talents to Wally the video game executive. Both actors hand in good performances, and a lot of the dialogue writing really is pretty funny; however, overall, the sound is nothing special. While there is a lot of good cutscene dialogue, only so many in-game sound bytes for Matt were recorded, so it’s not too long before he starts repeating himself… a lot. The music is pretty standard and repetitive and it sometimes does glitch out, but not often. Once again, overall, the sound is not great, but it’s not bad either.
Lifespan
Eat Lead is not a very long game, maybe eight to ten hours max, and there’s no multiplayer. There is an unlockable hard mode, but you probably won’t want to play it. The game is really only good for one play-through, and some of you with short attention spans may not even make it through that.
Recommendation
So, here’s the deal: Eat Lead is really not a bad game; it’s just not good either. The gameplay is, in every sense of the word, mediocre. Unfortunately, since it’s so short, it’s not really worth your money to go buy it. However, I would say that it is worth renting. Overall, the game is pretty funny, and a lot of the parodies on various game things are really well done. The story is basically just a good time, and the gameplay just kind of has to be endured to get to the funny parts. Also, this game hands out achievements like candy. Seriously, there’s an achievement for pausing the game the first time. No kidding. Basically, if you’re looking for something funny to play that doesn’t require a lot of brain power, then go rent Eat Lead. If you’re looking for a really great third person shooter with an amazing story and great graphics, then stick with Dark Sector.
Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard
Systems: Xbox 360, PS3
Developer: Vicious Cycle
Publisher: D3 Publisher
Find: Amazon, Gamefly, Goozex
All reviews are based on retail code unless otherwise noted.
May 6th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
This was a HILARIOUS game. I especially enjoyed the Wolfenstein, paper-thin models that you ran into later on in the game, as well as the RPG boss fight. It’s a shame that it ended up being such a mediocre experience overall. With its brand of humor and clever commentary it could have been so much better. I still enjoyed it, though. You’re especially right about the fact that no one will want to play through the hard mode. Since you can’t run in and out of cover very easily, it’s kind of difficult even on the “normal” setting.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
This game WANTS to be hilarious. I got a laugh here and there, but as far as a game goes it’s pretty bad. Bland enemies, bland levels, and terrible boss fights. The last boss fight was so frustrating I wanted to die…
Also the voice talent wasn’t used enough, considering you saw their names slapped all over this games adds.
I give this game an “OH REALLY!? out of blah……..”
May 7th, 2009 at 8:34 am
I totally thought that banner said “FAT HEAD”