I’ll come right out and say it: I’ve never been a huge Terminator fan. Yeah, I have seen a couple of the movies, but nothing about them has truly lingered with me. I love mindless violence as much as the next person, but something about the Terminator franchise has just disappointed me time and time again.
Terminator Salvation was no different. The movie hasn’t thrilled me, and for all intents and if you happened to find the movie bad, the game is much worse. This movie tie-in has rather lofty aspirations, but falls short in absolutely every way imaginable. In fact, it’s one of the most derivative and tiring third-person experiences I’ve trudged through so far this year. If it weren’t saddled with the Terminator Salvation franchise, then it’s likely it wouldn’t even be receiving a review and it would be sinking to the bottom of the bargain bin as we speak.
WHAT YOU’LL LIKE:
Authentic Terminator Storyline
If you’re a fan at all of the Terminator films, especially the latest blockbuster, you’ll find plenty to enjoy here. This game actually takes place two years before the movie, so it’s a bit of a prequel that attempts to tie up some loose ends. As John Connor, it’s your job to lead the resistance against the machines in a rather desolate version of Los Angeles. Along with a team of four, you’re racing against the machines in order to reach evac points and jet to safety, all the while taking as many of the scumbags down as humanly possible. On a journey to Skynet, you and your team will face various machines seen in the movies you’re familiar with. And I hope you enjoy those machines, because that’s all you’ll be seeing over and over. In fact, you can count the different kinds of machines you’ll face on one hand. Of course, they had to ensure the game contained a story that was easy to digest seeing as Mr. Bigshot Bale refused to lend his likeness or voice talents to the movie’s video game adaptation.
Familiar Third-person Action
Play Gears of War often? Did you play Bionic Commando at all lately? You’ve already won half the battle - you should already know how to take down those pitiable machines. All the moves you’ve become accustomed to after long nights of Gears multiplayer will finally pay off, er, sort of. There’s nothing new to learn unless you’ve absolutely never played a third-person shooter before. Have more fun in rail-shooters? There’s plenty of that as well. In fact, the entire game consists of flanking, running for cover lest your health isn’t regenerating quickly enough, or obliterating aerial vehicles who want nothing better than to see you dead. If you’re into this kind of gameplay that lasts for hours, then Terminator Salvation will be right up your alley.
WHAT YOU WON’T LIKE:
I’ll Be Back - Again, and Again, and Again…
Hope you enjoyed the first enemy you ever encountered on Terminator Salvation. You’ll be fighting them for the rest of the game, along with similar baddies you’ll be able to count on one hand. In an apocalypse such as what we’ve seen in the Terminator films, does Skynet really only mobilize the same makes of machines over and over? Familiar stop-and-pop mechanics will take down a glut of them, but for a select few you’ll be forced to flank. Flanking is cool for the first couple times, but as the horde of machines draw nearer to Connor, you’ll be rolling your eyes in disgust. There’s so little variety between locations, enemies, or even character development in this game that it becomes a chore to play through far before you should be feeling ready to switch off your system, and that’s undoubtedly a bad sign in any video game.
Barely-there Playtime
Well, if you don’t happen to enjoy Terminator Salvation, there’s one saving grace: the game lasts a meager four-to-five hours, or less depending on your skill. There are various tiers of difficulty like you would expect, but if you’re a seasoned gamer you’ll find yourself breezing through this adventure and wondering why you spent any hard-earned cash on this pitiful movie tie-in.
Don’t I Know You?
Don’t expect anything unfamiliar to arise here. Terminator Salvation has lifted some of the most overused and obnoxious cliches of action games and has rolled them into one big waste of your time. Seriously. You could literally swap in and out any other third-person shooter, slap on some new character skins, and you’d be good to go. It’s that banal.
Oh, The Loading
Finish up a scene? Cool. Along with the familiar heart-pounding three chords of the Terminator soundtrack, you’re also treated to a close-up of a T-800 for a good minute or so while waiting for the next area to load. As you can imagine, you will tire of this rather quickly.
RECOMMENDATION
Got sixty bucks you feel like wasting? Are you a fan of mediocre shooters that have no real purpose other than to accompany a “blockbuster” film? Terminator Salvation would be perfect for you! There is nothing that particularly sets this game out from the rest of the hundreds of other shooters floating around out there. If you’re searching for something new, there’s no real reason to devour this title unless you really, really enjoyed the movie, or you can’t find a copy of System Shock 2. Still, if you need an expensive way to waste a few hours, you can’t go wrong with this.
Terminator Salvation
System: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Developer: GRIN
Publisher: Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment
Find: Amazon, Gamefly, Goozex
All reviews are based on final retail code unless otherwise noted.
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June 9th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Harsh review! But I pretty much feel the same way about the movie. And I love the Terminator franchise. Can’t believe Bale wouldn’t lend his voice or at least his likeness. Of course, even I can mimic his heavy whisper just fine.
June 9th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Movie to video game translation generally = FAIL. Mediocre movie + metiocre game translation = EPIC FAIL. What have they done to my beloved Terminator franchise? Sigh
June 9th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
At least the Wanted game was better.
June 10th, 2009 at 12:17 am
Ohhh—wait, wait, wait. Bale didn’t do any voice-acting or anything? WTF?! ‘Kay, there’s no reason for me to play this then, and that’s before I went on to read how much this game sucks.
I’m just sorry you had to endure such crap for the sake of us gamers. ._____.